Monday, June 20, 2011

My big heart

You know how when kids are born they always say stuff like he has her eyes or she has his ears. I think it is the closest thing to immortality or reincarnation to pass on our genetic traits to our children. I've always thought that even though my mom has been gone from my life and this world for almost 27 years I'll always have a piece of her with me because I inherited her heart. I often forget about this until at the strangest times I am overcome with empathy or emotion for someone or something. As a man I have always tried to hide this trait deep down inside. "Big boys don't cry". Who wants to see a grown man get all emotional over something stupid like a movie, play or live event. It's actually one of the reasons I stay away from music. It often speaks to your heart which is a place I try not to visit too often for fear of looking like a emotional wreck or idiot (same thing really). Don't get me wrong, this compassionate heart of mine doesn't always turn me into a blubbering idiot. Sometimes I just feel it. I can't stand watching the humane society commercials or read or hear about any sort of animal cruelty. I don't like reading or hearing about all the pain and suffering of my fellow humans all over the world. But it isn't just bad stuff. I feel the joy of new parents or newlyweds. Recent graduates from preschool to college. The happiness of family and friends and the sadness of illness or death of any one of them, mine or others.

I've often lamented that the gift of a big heart is a blessing and a curse especially for a guy. But it is a gift from my Mom that I'd never want to loose. So I go on through life figuring out how to deal with it and trying to remember that I'd rather feel too much than nothing at all.

1 comment:

Antipaladin said...

Empathy is a bitch, man- even if one doesn't have a heart as big as yours.